Sometimes Queens are Crazy
by HowAboutThat
Summary: I'm just gonna say this now so no guy stumbles on here and thinks, 'oh, this is gonna be funny, it's gonna talk about how BSC they are' and gets scarred for life or anything. This is how some of the queens are/change when they're on their period. Since I've passed a lot of boundaries already, might as well cross this one. and btw, BSC bat sh** crazy. Anyway, hope you enjoy! R&R.
1. Chapter 1

HAT: Well... I just felt like it and... *record scratches* you know what, I DON'T CARE! You're gonna read about what some of these queens are like when they're on their period, _especially_ on their first day (and I looked it up, I'm friggin jealous of animals, they get theirs once or twice a year usually _and_ it's only mild spotting. Jealous rage over). It's gonna go from oldest (Grizabella) to youngest (Jemima) and I'm gonna have fun doing it because this will cause me to laugh hysterically... especially with a few of them. *evil cackle*

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.

* * *

Grizabella:

It was a normal day for Grizabella as she wakes up from her nap. She decides that an afternoon wash will do her some good when and notices dried blood in her fur between her legs. At first she assumes and prays to the Everlasting Cat that she cut herself accidentally, but it's the sad truth

This queen is on her period, the worst time of the year.

Her eye twitches as she cleans the blood and walks out of the temporary home she's made for herself and a tom whistles, at her.

Now, normally she'd have a bit of fun flirting with him, but right now she's in no mood so she flattens her ears and hisses at him. "Keep to yourself you dirty pollicle."

She leaves the tom gaping in disbelief and stalks through the streets.

_Why, oh, why did the Everlasting create periods?_ Thinks the queen as she finally catches a bird and pricks the feathers off. It's obvious she's in a terrible mood to those around her and many of the queens can tell why just by looking at the way she walks in the distance. A few of the queens sympathize with her, having just finished, being almost finishes, or having started a few days ago. It's clear the Glamor Cat is not going to be doing anything this first day.

"Grizabella!"

She stops, tail twitching irritably as she rolls her eyes and turns to face a regular customer that happens to be fairly nice. "What is it, Ikon?"

The brown and black calico stutters to a stop, seeing the evil in her eyes that narrow slightly. "A-are you on your period?"

_Did he just?..._

Without a second thought she hurls herself at him for having to be reminded of something she plainly knows. He cries out in alarm as he's tackled by the enraged queen and covers his face with his arms as her claws fly toward it. His cries can be heard all around and the humans that pass by just avoid them while the cats either watch with rapt interest or ignore the two or, for many of the queens, smile smugly at the sight, knowing what the tom had just asked.

She stops and stands up, breathing deeply to calm herself, before she blinks open her eyes and smiles sympathetically at him. "I'm sorry, are you okay?"

The tom stares up at her, unable to think of how to respond. "I-I'm fine," he replies warily.

Amazing how the queen flipped from total rage to... whatever this is. In his eyes, at the moment, she's completely psychotic. He's never dealt with her like this before, though he should've known better having two sisters and his mother... as well as his father as an example of what not to do or say around hormonal queens.

"I'm so sorry, I don't know what came over me. How about I make it up to you?" she finishes with a seductive tone.

"T-tonight?"

A frown. "What? No, not tonight, dumbo, I'm not taking any customers tonight or any time this week!" she stands and gives a huff. "The nerve of some toms."

As she walks away he looks at her with raised eyebrows and a dropped jaw. "What the hell?..."

* * *

HAT: Okay, that one was short, but I promise the next one will be longer.

Grizabella: I don't... okay, maybe I act like that, but I don't physically attack anyone.

HAT: *rolls eyes* Uh-huh... Anyway, will you please say it?

Grizabella: Please review.


	2. Chapter 2

HAT: Here's the next chapter, enjoy!

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot... what am I thinking?**

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Jellylorum:  


Asparagus was the first awake, making breakfast as usual, when suddenly there was a loud crash and he rushes into the bedroom where he left his peacefully sleeping mate to see her hunched over as if in pain.

"What's wrong?" he asks gently.

She turns around and he straightens in fear, seeing her emerald eyes almost black and her fangs seeming larger than usual. The fur on his back stands straight up, causing him to stumble back and stare up at his mate in fear. He momentarily can't place what's making her like this, but then it clicks. He's known her since they were kits and has been mates for a while, he knows exactly what this is. He gets up and backs away, his paw looking for the doorknob already.

"I-I'm gonna get you some sweets from Jenny's and pigeons, your favorites," he chuckles nervously before running out of the door and going straight into his sons, Plato and Admetus.

"What's going on?" the gray-brown young tom asks.

"Mom's going through that thing again," mumbles the father as he rubs his head.

The white and copper tom straightens up and stares at his father. "W-what? It's that-"

"_Yes_, that's why I'm getting her sweets and her favorite treat. I have to keep her happy for the next few days," explains the black and rusty red tom as he pushes off and runs straight to the Gumbie Cat's den. He immediately gets the help he needs because of the well-known look on his face when his mate is on her period. "Thanks!"

He winds up hunting for at least an hour before he gets the preferred food of Jellylorum and then walks into the den and places the stuff on the table. He turns around only to be pounced on by his mate, but instead of her being angry like he expected, but then again during this time he can't predict her anymore. Her arms are thrown over his shoulders and he's no longer able to talk due to her tongue being down his throat. He's surprised... but it's a pleasant one indeed.

"I love you, Rag," she murmurs.

"I love you too," he responds, moving to kiss her back, but she pushes him away. "Not right now, I smell chocolate covered mousebits."

His shoulders sag and he stares after her. This is one of many reasons he doesn't like when it's that time of the month. One second she's one way, the next she's another. For all he knows, next she could be-

"Why don't you touch me anymore?!"

"W-w-whoa! I-I'm just... I'm just gonna do... do something," Skimbleshanks murmurs, having just walked through the door, before walking out awkwardly.

Jellylorum blushes. "Oh, that's embarrassing," she murmurs.

_I don't even know how to respond to any of this anymore,_ Asparagus thinks as he collapses on the sofa.

"You didn't answer my question," she notes.

He pales. _I didn't think I was supposed to answer it! Especially after Skim walked in!_

"Is it because I'm ugly."

"No," he immediately says, going over to her and putting an arm around her only to be pushed off.

"Liar!"

He gives her a calm look and one of pure adoration, one that says it all. He's never been much of a talker, but his expressions have always said everything that he's needed to say. His mate lowers her gaze and he stands and softly kisses her. She kisses back and then smiles at him, her eyes apologetic for putting him through her period... again... it's something he'll deal with a thousand times (and he's pretty sure he has if he adds up each day of it, it's well past a thousand) because he loves here and there are more days when she's off of her period than when she's off of it.

"I'll put on your favorite human movie and make your pigeon," he offers.

"Okay," she replies, kissing him lightly.

In the middle of her movie she gets angry and throws a pot at him because he's a target and he dodges it, having gone through this plenty of times before. First few times on her period when she watched this movie he got hit and she profusely apologized, but then he learned to listen for it and dodged. The first few times were when they were still young and living with Gus, a little before they fell for one another, but still, it was very useful to know she aims for his head every time.

_A few more days... just survive a few more days, you've done it before,_ he thinks as a pillow hits his back. _Just a few more days..._

* * *

HAT: So, there's that. I hope that ya'll enjoyed!

Jasper: I'm sure they did.

HAT: You're not in this story!

Jasper: Well... no, but you told me to come here.

HAT: *goes through visitor list and blinks* Okay... Well, um... okay... will you say it please?

Jasper: Review, please... or I'll tie HAT up and type something inappropriate next time.

HAT: No! I can't stand M rated stuff!

Jasper: *chuckles* Well, if they review "you" won't have to.

HAT: *faces you* _**PLEASE**_, review!


	3. Chapter 3

HAT: Here's the next chapter, enjoy!

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot... what am I thinking?**

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Jennyanydots:  


The junkyard is dark and quiet with a tenseness in the air that makes every cat on edge. The thing is, when the Gumbie Cat's on her period, everyone knows and everyone avoids as best as they can... except for her, unfortunate, mate, Lyon, who is currently sniveling in a corner while his mate sharpens her needles.

_Crap, crap, crap, she's gonna kill me, she is going to kill me._

The door opens cautiously and an orange paw's stuck in with a bag with sweet smelling stuff and a stuffed mouse. "Alright, lass," a Scottish voice calls. "I'm coming in to give you these, please refrain from using your needles."

"Come in!" she calls.

_Thank the Everlasting for Skimble,_ the black and gray calico thinks.

The Railway Cat slips in and holds out the peace offering. "Here, lass."

She takes the sweets and the stuffed mouse. "Thank you, Skimble!" she replies, her accent gaining a light Scottish accent with the happiness she has.

Skimble sighs in relief. Lyon gets up and runs to his brother-in-law and hugs him tightly over the shoulders. "Thank you!"

"Don't thank me yet, we still have to get out," grumbles the tabby as he warily watches his sister sit down the munch on sweets. "Move. Now."

The two toms move towards the door, but narrowly miss being impaled by sewing needles, both of them glancing at the needles that almost hit their faces that are in the wall. They then turn their frightened gazes towards the queen and her eyes are darker than they've ever been while the whites of her eyes are red. The both of them scream (and they're satisfied that they scream like toms instead of queens) and the calico holds the tabby and said tabby pauses his screaming to look down at his brother-in-law in confusion before looking back up at his sister who's storming over before screaming again.

"Hold me, Skimble! Hold me!" Lyon whimpers.

"You two aren't going anywhere!" she growls, her accent so thick that if one weren't listening they would swear she were speaking Scottish.

"Please, my wee bonnie sister, let us go," begs the brown tailed tom, his accent thickening to seem as if he's actually speaking straight Scottish to her.

She grips her brother and mate's scruffs and drags them back. "You two've got some explaining to do, especially you Lyon."

The blue-gray eyed tom pales. "M-m-me?"

"Skimble," I asked you to bring me that stuff an hour ago, what were you doing before you came here?"

"I-I had to go to the railway and ask Ruthenbalt for the sweets and then I had to dig through my den to find your stuffed mouse and then Pouncival got stuck in two buckets so I had to get him out before I came here to get you your things."

"Where's the feminine products?!"

He pales. "I-I'll get it right away," he assures before throwing a glance towards the doomed tom. "Sorry..."

With that the elder brother flees.

"Coward!" Lyon calls before freezing and looking at his vicious looking mate. "J-Jenny? L-l-listen, I'll make you a very nice dinner, g-give you a foot massage... a-anything!"

Her eyes soften and she smiles, making his heart melt. "That's very sweet, Ly..." she murmurs before planting a firm kiss on his lips and reaching behind him, locking the door. "Skimble can wait, we're going to have a little fun instead."

_I love this part!... wait, there was something that came after this- OH SHIT!_ His eyes widen immensely when he sees the chains. "Jen... I thought we agreed I wouldn't be taste testing kitten food..."

An evil smirk. "If you want to have some fun later, you have to."

Lyon's forced into a chair and chained up, his eyes glancing towards the window and silently begging someone, anyone, to come and save him from eating the most disgusting food ever created. He still doesn't know how he ate that stuff when he was a kitten.

_It'll be worth it, it'll be worth it, it'll be worth it- what is this flavor?!_

* * *

HAT: Short, sweet, simple, and hopefully funny. Let me know what you think.

Jennyanydots: I deny everything.

HAT: *grins* You know everyone but those two avoid you until your period ends.

Jennynaydots: Shut up. *turns to readers* Review. *walks off*

HAT: DeNile's not just a river in Egypt!

Jennyanydots: *throws sewing needles at HAT*

HAT: *barely dodges then looks wide eyed at Gumbie Cat* She's on her period... *turns and runs away*


	4. Chapter 4

HAT: Today I found out that one of my favorite comedians, Robin Williams, has passed away. Take a moment and remember him as he was and remember when he made you laugh if you were a fan and remember this: tomorrow is not promised so live today to the fullest, but don't waste it doing something stupid(ly dangerous) because it could be the cause of tomorrow not coming.

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot... what am I thinking?**

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Bombalurina:  


The Rum Tum Tugger's ears prick at the unusual quiet in the den. He looks about and wonders, briefly, where his mate the beautiful crimson queen, Bombalurina, is located when suddenly he hears a loud snap. Automatically he sits up straight in the bed, his amber eyes looking towards the bathroom before flickering to te front door while he contemplates his chances of making it out of the door and to... anywhere, but here. He decides that it's worth a shot and makes a mad dash to the door.

"Rum Tum Tugger, get your ass in here!"

_Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!_ Tugger thinks as he turns around and finds the door wide open. He can't help but feel like he's in some sort of horror movie as he walks forward with his heartbeat getting faster and harder in his chest. Only a few most steps, but he wants to turn the other direction and flee from the scene. Sadly if he did, that would end very badly for the duration of the next few days, and perhaps even the rest of this week.

"Y-yes, Bomba?" he asks as he stands in the entrance.

"You forgot to get the stuff, how could you?!" Shouts the crimson queen, gesturing to the cabinet that has scarecly anything in it.

_Stuff? What- oh!_ "L-listen, Bomba, I'll get them now," he stutters, before he's thrown for the floor with surprising strength from the queen.

"It's too late," she growls before smiling seductively and brushing her tail along his inner thigh. "You know, I should punish you for that."

_Whatdoesshemean? What does she mean?!_ He wonders as he stares at her. _Everlasting, she's beautiful._

It's never a good thing to get distracted by her looks during her period, but he always ends up making that mistake. He's still a tom despite having learned plenty about this queen, but he makes this mistake every single time, especially when she-

"Excited?" she asks as her face gets closer and her paws rest on his chest while her tail runs from the knee upward.

_Don't answer that,_ the smarter part of him warns as he unconsciously shivers and does the exact opposite. "Just a little," he admits with a shy voice that makes the corners of her lips tug upward and dark brown eyes soften. "What're you gonna do?"

_Please say-_

"Let you suffer," she informs, getting up and sauntering away with an extra sway to her hips that hypnotizes the Maine Coon.

_That's not what I wanted you to day,_ he thinks when the bathroom door closes after her. With a sigh he gets up and decides to make breakfast, something that should cheer her up. When he finishes she comes out and drapes herself over his shoulder, trying to see what he's cooking. He's stiff, wondering if she'll approve or not. After last time, he really wants to make her happy with what he cooks in the morning, despite how bipolar she can be.

"Hungry?" he asks warily.

"Yes... chocolate?! Oh, you do love me!" she squeals, hugging him before taking the spoon the chocolate was mixed with and licking the spoon. "Thank you."

"No problem," he replies.

The two eat breakfast and he's about to go on patrol when he's grabbed by the queen. "Please, stay with me."

He has to patrol, but he doesn't have the heart to tell her no. "I guess I can stay a few more minutes," he mutters before he sits on the couch and she curls against him.

Amber eyes watch her face and he wonders, briefly, if something other than her period is upsetting her, but it's too late to ask because her breathing is deep. Her face is a little paler than usual and she seems so very cold... then he remembers that this has happened before. She lost a lot of blood and is having a feeling of sickness currently. She'll feel better after getting some sleep. He gently lays her on the couch and kisses her cheek before heading out to patrol.

* * *

HAT: Not much else to say, but I wonder how on earth I'm gonna have all the queens have unique situations... WAIT! I got it! Never mind... I think... I'll let you know if I come up short.

Bombalurina: You sure are scatterbrained aren't you?

HAT: N-... yes.

Bombalurina: *rolls eyes and smiles* You're so amusing.

HAT: *shrugs* I try (sometimes).

Bombalurina: Review, please!

HAT: *crawls onto couch and uses Bombalurina as a pillow*

Bombalurina: *sighs* Why must you use everyone as a pillow?

HAT: Because everyone's comfy... even the Gus, no matter how skinny.

Bombalurina: *opens mouth then closes it and shrugs* Okay.


	5. Chapter 5

HAT: Yay, another chapter! Hope that you enjoy.:)

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot... what am I thinking? Maybe I wasn't thinking. *lightbulb* Oh, man, the tom's are gonna kill me for this next one...**

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Cassandra:

The dark queen looks down at her self and groans. She hates washing herself during times like this. She doesn't understand why the Everlasting makes she-cats go through this, but it happens every time. Her small round ears prick when she hears her mate enter the den. She exits the bedroom in time to see a black and white blur collapse on the couch. She walks over to him and tries to get his attention, gently, at first, but then her irritation spikes and she throws a pillow at his head.

"Alonzo! What're you doing? You're supposed to be on patrol," she huffs.

"I just got back from patrol, she-cat!" He complains (A/N: She-cat=woman).

"She-cat? She-cat? Oh,so I'm not your mate anymore?"

Tired, irritated blue eyes meet angry blue eyes. "What do you want me to do? What? You cheating on me? Is that why you want me out so much?"

She gapes at him. "You think I'm cheating on you? Why would I do a thing like that?" she demands.

"Well, you're certainly... defensive. _Are_ you cheating on me?!"

"No!"

He gets up, obviously forgetting about the aching in his muscles. "Then why do you always want me to leave, huh?"

She rolls her eyes and groans, storming into the bedroom. Her eyes tear up at the fact that her mate doesn't trust her. She knows it's her overactive hormones, but that doesn't make it any easier. She wipes away the tears and lies in her bed, wondering why her period makes her so...defensive and harsh... so... off. Again she wonders why she-cats everywhere are subjected to this, but she has no time to think about it with her raging emotions. She feels so angry and sad and, much to her displeasure (A/N: sorry, but in some cases it's true), sexually frustrated. This emotional rollarcoaster is unstable, but what queen is ever stable while on her period? That'st he real question. Her tears are hot on her face and turn into icicles on her chin before soaking in the pillows. Suddenly there's a shift in the bed and she feels a warmth around her waist and on her back.

"I'm sorry for overreacting," he murmurs. "I'm guessing it's that time?"

"Nhm..."

"How's about I get you some sweets and we can watch that human movie you like so much? Um... _Big Fish_?"

She smiles and kisses his lips."Thank you, Alonzo...I love you."

He smiles. "I love you, too."

* * *

HAT: Well, that's a wrap! I'm gladto have given you this chapter and next will be-

Cassandra: Don't you have a question to ask them?

HAT: Oh, yeah...Well, I was wondering, when I do some OC based stories (other than Lyon, who doens't even seem like an OC anymore).

Cassandra: ... well?! Don't just leavethem hanging.

HAT: Alright,the question is: who are you most eager to get their period? No, they (may or may not)be next since I'm going by age...well... at least the order in which I think they go.

Cassandra: That's it?

HAT: *grins* Ah-huh!

Cassandra: *pats HAT's head* Oh, poor...special HAT... let's go get you some-

HAT: Candy?!

Cassnadra: No...you don't need sweets. I meant some rest so that way you don't get hyperactive on us.

HAT: *sulks* Oh...

Cassandra: Review, please.


	6. Chapter 6

HAT: I don't understand how this is doing so well, but I'll take what I can get and- uh-oh!- do I see two queens? Oh, this is gonna be a doozy (as soon as I figure out how...)!

**Disclaimer: If I owned CATS do you think I'd have so many stories on fanfiction? If you think 'yes' or 'maybe' you're just like me, so let me assure you... I don't own CATS or it's characters... just this story.**

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Demeter & Exotica:

One queen on her period is bad enough, but two at the same time? All toms associated with them are screwed. Other queens are relatively safe, and kits are too, but toms are screwed all the same. The two queens that are having their period are talking to a few other queens now on the TSE 1 car and the other queens are off of their period at the moment, which they're grateful for, but for a few of them it means that their period will come soon (Jennyanydots, Tantomile, and Rumpelteazer) and they're relishing the time they have off of their period.

"How're the cramps?" Cassandra asks her sister.

Exotica makes a flat face at her sister and tilts her head at an angle to say for her, "What the heck do you mean, 'how're the cramps?' she-cat?! I'm having friggin' cramps!"

Immediately the older sister quiets and shakes her head. Her mate, Coricopat, had made the mistake to ask the same question, but let's just say he's not in the best condition. When a few eyes glance in the male mystic's direction he walks tenderly and a few wince in sympathy while a few (especially his sister, Tantomile,) shake their heads in disappointment, knowing that he's supposed to know better than to ask that question, but obviously toms are slow to learn no matter how much insight they have.

Demeter groans and splays herself out on her back and stares up at the sky. "Why do periods have to exist?" The queens murmur their agreements before Demeter rolls onto her belly and glares at a rather fall pile. "We should do something... but what?"

Exotica rolls her eyes and rubs her forehead. "What're you planning?"

"I don't know... but I could play with Tugger's mind," she murmurs with a mischievous smile.

Bombalurina shifts uncomfortably at the idea of her sister playing with her mate's mind. "Are you sure?"

An enthusiastic nod. "Yeah! We could mess with everyone's minds!"

"How?" Jennyanydots asks, wanting to know before she automatically shoots down the idea.

"We act the exact opposite of how we are," Demeter suggests.

"Sooo... Exotica's visible everywhere, Bomba acts like you, you act like Bomba, and such?"

A nod. "Yeah, pretty much. What do you think?"

The queens are silent before they nod. "Okay."

-A FEW MINUTES LATER-

"Uuuum... Demeter?" Skimbleshanks grumbles, backing away. "Whaaaat're you doing?"

Currently the black and gold queen is flirting with every male around her and Skimbleshanks, though not the first and certainly not the last, is the current focus of her "affections" which is why he's moving back away from the queen as she advances toward him.

She bats her blue eyes and tilts her head slightly. "What do you mean?"

"You're acting like your sister," her own mate points out.

The queen shrugs her shoulders. "I'm going perfectly fine."

Lyon, currently, is being dragged into the Gumbie Cat den by Jenny and Jellylorum while Asparagus tries to save him from the two queens, but he's tackled by his mate and dragged inside of the den where they might very well likely meet their dooms (or so they think).

"Jemima, what're you saying?!" Pouncival complains from a distance. "Why're you so mean?!"

"Please, Bustopher, let me steal your watch," Rumpelteazer begs uncharacteristically.

"No, I said that you can't and it's not stealing if give it to you!" the fat tom gruffly replies.

"What was that?!" Bombalurina demands, hiding behind her made and causing him to look at her worriedly.

The Maine Coon's eyebrow raises slowly. "Um... Bomba, is everything alright? Did you mess up Tantomile's room again?"

The crimson queen ignores her mate and continues to look around like a maniac. Meanwhile Exotica, in the sight of everyone, dances around. Old Deuteronomy, who watches the chaos ensue from his tire, wonders exactly what's going on until Demeter and Exotica snap at their mates and realizes that those two are on their period, but he can't be sure about the rest. At least he _hopes _that they're not all on their period at the same time... that's only ever happened once in his long life and he doesn't want it to happen again.

"Why's the world flipped upside down?!" Tumblebrutus cries when his sisters cuddle up to him.

The queens can't help, but to burst into laughter and inform the toms that Demeter had the idea to mess with their minds. Tumblebrutus pouts and crosses his arms until his queenfriend, Tantomile, hugs him and kisses his cheek. The other toms quickly follow his lead, all of them actually genuinely upset. The queens gently comfort their mates and tom-friends and male family members until all the queens apologized to all of the toms.

At least that didn't end in destruction.

* * *

HAT: I've got a few **announcements** and question!

Demeter: Go on ahead.

Exotica: we won't stop you.

HAT: First off, I have posted a crossover fanfiction, one that combines CATS and Aristocats. It's AristoCATS and... that's actually the title... Also, if you don't know it yet, I have a poll on my profile that I'd like yu all to go on and vote.

Exotica: And the question?

HAT: Um... I forgot...

Demeter: She'll let you know when she remembers. For now-

Exotica: Review-

Macavity: Please.

Demeter: *jumps into tree* When did you get here?!

Macavity: *points to door* Just now.

HAT: Um... When'd the tree get in here?

Exotica: I don't know...

Macavity: *groan* Are you gonna come down?

Demeter: *jumps down and glares at him* Don't scare me like that! That's mean?

HAT: Ahem, he is a criminal.

Exotica: *turns off camera*


	7. Chapter 7

HAT: I hadn't been able to post anything, first week of school and all, plus there was no electricity in my house for a while and I went straight to bed as soon as I got home (and missed the double moon) and I also noticed I'm on the second page instead of the first and I have to rectify that and put my stuff back on the front page! Anyway, enjoy!

**Disclaimer: Let's just say, if I owned CATS, you'd know about it by now. However you _do _know that I have ownership of the plot.**

* * *

Tantomile:

Tumblebrutus is stretched out on his stomach on top of the oven. His dark blue eyes lazily lift to the sky and he figures another hour wouldn't hurt. After all, three hours to naps never enough. He rests his cheek on his right arm, both being crossed under his head, and heaves a sigh. After about twenty minutes his eyes snap open and he looks around, fur along his spine prickling. He has a bad feeling, and not the usual type of bad where it's a mild sense, but a deep sense that makes the little magic in his veins rile up. For once he's grateful for the dark magic that his mother and uncle possess in their veins because these feelings can be life savers.

_Now if only I knew why,_ he thinks as he continues to observe everything around him with sharp blue eyes.

His eyes snap to focus on a black and white tom with light blue eyes. To others he may seem at ease curled up next to his mate, but Tumblebrutus can see the way his eyes flicker towards the den his sister occupies and how his tail tip flicks now and then while his ears lower before lifting back up. Being young and not knowing how it is to have a queenfriend on her period, he doesn't know how much of a dangerous situation this can be, though he has had needles thrown at him by his mother.

He feels something moving in his mind and then he finds himself getting up from his comfortable position and walking without stretching, something that's uncharacteristic of him... and anyone else for that matter. He doesn't know any cat that doesn't stretch after a nap before doing something. He most definitely knows that someone magical is controlling him and then he feels the mind that's latched onto his and he blinks in realization as he realizes who it is that's controlling him.

_Tantomile? What're you doing?_ Tumblebrutus demands his queenfriend, his mind fighting for control that he doesn't seem to have anymore. He looks up at her and sees that he's being watched by the male mystic and he silently begs for his help as he feels his fur stand on end, not just along his spine, as he gets closer to the den where Tantomile is residing in currently. He doesn't get a response and he silently curses as he walks into the den.

"Mile?" he calls, his voice tentative.

"In here!" she calls from her room where he can imagine her reading a book. He walks into the room and finds her splayed out on the bed with a book opened and resting on it's spine on the soft pillow before her. Her dark brown eyes lift up to meet his dark blue ones and she smiles warmly while her tail curls. "Hey Brutus."

He smiles at her hesitantly. "Hey... whaddoyou need?"

The corners of her lips quirk upward and she pats the bed next to her, a silent plea for him to sit next to her. He does as requested and she curls up against his side immediately. Quite frankly he's confused and wants to understand, but it doesn't seem possible at the moment. Still, he's content with her curled at his side and he curls around her and closes his eyes, figuring they'll be taking a nap together, but he's shocked when lips peck his and his blue eyes snap open to look into her mesmerizing brown ones.

"Tantomile what're you doing?"

"Kissing you... is something wrong?"

She bats her eyes and he gulps. "I-I guess not, but... we're alone on a bed," he reminds, his fur pricking uncomfortably while his thoughts briefly shift to a dead body... his.

"It's fine," she assures, moving forward and kissing him.

_She's never been so... intimate before... she's usually more reserved than this,_ the white and brown tom thinks as he kisses back and caresses her face. _Dear, Everlasting, she tastes amazing._

After a moment he's pushed down and the queen's on his torso and he instantly sees a large figure standing over a dead body... Coricopat. "Mile, stop," he quietly murmurs, pushing her away gently by her shoulders, but when she persists he has to use more force to keep her away. His fur pricks and he realizes that Coricopat isn't the only fear that he has. "Tantomile, _stop._ What's gotten into you?"

He hadn't noticed a haze before, but now he sees it disappear in her eyes and she blinks. "I-I'm... I'm so sorry," she murmurs, her gaze lowering. "I... I know you're not ready and I'm not either, really, it's just... I'm -um- I'm..."

His ears prick to show he's giving her his undivided attention, but he can see that this makes her nervous. "Come on, you can tell me anything. I lived with two sisters and my mother for the longest and uncle Skimble gave us a lecture of how to avoid getting in trouble, especially when they're on their-" he stops when she gives him a pointed look, one that shows that what he's about to say is exactly her situation. "Oh... s-so is there anything that you want? You know besides my body?"

The two laugh lightly at this and she shakes her head. "No, I just wanna cuddle."

He grins. "That's something I _can _do."

Both cats curl up and close their eyes, waiting to drift off and take a nap, perhaps interacting with one another mentally in a dream.

_"T-Tantomile, I'm not a mouse!" cries the dark blue eyed Tumblebrutus._

_She ignores him and licks her lips, dark brown eyes locked on her target before she jumps forward._

Tumblebrutus shoots up and pants, his heart accelerated and his mind focused on the image of a starving Tantomile the size of a junk pile leaping at him. He turns and looks at Tantomile who huffs in disappointment and he runs a paw through his head fur. He's shared dreams with Tantomile before, but never when he as food. Now he has more consideration for his mother's students for when he gets hungry and finds some of them.

_If it's gonna be like this her entire period, this is gonna be a loooong few days,_ he thinks before he lies back down.

* * *

HAT: Awww! They're so cute! I ship a lot of pairings, I noticed, but this is the T-Couple in my mind (since both their names start with T) and this was more adorable than I thought it would be.

Tantomile: -_-... review.

HAT: What? No comments?

Tantomile: Nope. *walks away*

HAT: That's actually a tame Tantomile on her period. When she gets violent- *winces at crash*- it's much worse...

Pouncival: HELP! Tantomile put my head in a bucket!

HAT: *waits a minute before sighing* Great... now _I've _gotta get him out. *walks out to help Pouncival*


	8. Chapter 8

HAT: I managed to get inspiration for Rumpelteazer and I think this is gonna be good... I'll let you know if it did waaaaaay down at the bottom. Okay, then, enjoy!

**Disclaimer: I OWN ABSOLUTELY ALL OF- the plot... sadly CATS doesn't belong to me.**

* * *

Rumpelteazer:

A white, orange, and black calico queen stands with her arms crossed over her chest while her tail swings viciously behind her and eyes turn to a pure dark green color in irritation. "What do you mean I can't come with you?!"

Standing before her is a tom with orange, black, and white calico fur and dark brown eyes with a hint of green in them. "I'm sorry Teazer, but you can't come," the tom replies, his Cockney accent tinted with fear and irritation. "Your scent's gonna give us away."

"It's never given me away before!" she declares.

"But it's stronger this time and I don't want you to get hurt because of some toms wanting to mess with you."

"You're so overprotective," the Cockney queen murmurs with a roll of her eyes.

His nose scrunches up. "Can you blame me? Please stay here. For me?"

Her eyes slowly turn back to their normal dark brown color before she releases a sigh. "Fine."

A huge grin splits Mungojerrie's face and he hugs his sitter. "Thank you. Stay away from Misto!"

_Misto's more of a gentletom than that,_ Rumpelteazer thinks before turning to look for the black and white tux.

After searching for him for an hour she becomes very frustrated. She rounds the corner into the clearing and runs into an orange body. Luckily the owner of the body grabs her shoulders to keep her from falling onto the ground.

"Whoa, lass, what's the rush?"

She looks up at her guardian and smiles sheepishly. "Nothing, just looking for Misto... have you seen him?"

He frowns and takes a small breath before shaking his head and crossing his arms over his chest. "No, you're not allowed to see him at least for the next few days."

"Why?"

Glass-green eyes flash with reluctance. "Toms... can be rather... attracted to queens when... when in your state," he answers, his face turning reddish-orange while his eyes flicker to the side away from her. "You shouldn't be seeing your tomfriend."

"Jerrie said the same thing, but I promise that nothing'll happen."

"No, and that's final," he huffs with a slight growl in his voice.

The calico groans. "Fine, but when you end up missing some Scotch, it's your fault."

He pales before his ears flatten. "Rumelteazer, if you dare touch my Scotch, it's your hide on the line. I don't care if you're an adolescent, I'll still turn you over my knee like you're a kit."

Her striped tale twitches at the memories of being spanked by said guardian and knows that no matter how moody she is, she's not going to risk her tail. "Yes, sir."

"Good. Now- uh- your scent got rather strong just now so I'm gonna take a gander and say you need to wash up," he mutters, his gaze having shifted from her eyes to a junk pile after her reply.

Blush covers her face and she ends up stuttering, "U-um... thank you for letting me know, da... um... could you...?"

"Of course," he says quickly, practically running away.

Skimbleshanks, despite being around plenty of queens, still isn't used to his adopted daughter being so grown up. To be fair, Rumpelteazer isn't used to talking or even implying her... feminine problems with her adoptive father. Once she's clean she walks into the clearing and nearly runs into a black and white tux.

"Misto!"

"Hey Teazer," replies her tomfriend with a grin. "What's up?"

"I've been looking for you everywhere," she admits. "Dad and Jerrie said I shouldn't be around you for a few days, but..."

He chuckles. "You rebel," he teases before planting a quick kiss on her lips and when he pulls away there's blush covering his white face. "S-sorry, I-don't know what came over me."

"I-it's okay," she murmurs, remembering what her guardian had told her. "It was nice."

Mistoffelees is suddenly grabbed by Tugger and dragged away, causing Rumpelteazer to huff. Why are they trying to keep the two apart? It's an innocent attraction as far as she's concerned. It was only a kiss. Before she knows it she's being dragged by Jellylorum in the opposite direction of her tomfriend.

"Listen, Teazer, we need to talk about-"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The calico and the tux scream simultaneously.

* * *

HAT: I had no idea it would turn out like this, but... there!

Rumpelteazer: Thanks for to putting the conversation... I really don't want to relive it.

HAT: At least it wasn't Skimble that gave you 'the talk' otherwise... *shivers*

Rumpelteazer: *shivers violently* Dear, Everlasting, I don't want to even imagine. Review.


	9. Chapter 9

HAT: OKay, not for Etcetera! Oh, man... this is gonna be good. *wicked grin* So... are you ready? Tugger/Etcy if you squint I suppose.

**Disclaimer: I own the plot, but sadly not CATS. T-T Wait... I still own the plot! :D**

* * *

Etcetera:

The Rum Tum Tugger yawns, waking up from a nap, and something unusual happens. He doesn't wake up to a face in his and hear giggling from a certain young queen. His ears flatten and he briefly wonders what's wrong with his biggest fan-queen. He gets up and stretches, his tail curling as his golden eyes scan the junkyard to find his fan-queen on the tire taking a nap. He relaxes and decides to get back at her when he sees her stirring. He jogs over and lies out on his stomach, chin resting on arms as he observes the silvery white young queen.

It's soft, no lines on her face, and kind of round like she's a child, though she most certainly is not. There are spots on her nose that look like cute little human freckles, and he knows when those eyes open there'll be pretty dark brown eyes. Sure, there are a lot of cats with dark brown eyes, but each one has a little something to it in the pattern. Where his mate's eyes are that of a rose pattern, this young queen's eyes are that of the sun, bright and beaming, just like her face when she grins.

_My little kit,_ he thinks, remembering being the first one to hold her outside of those inside the den at her being born. His golden eyes were bright with amazement like when he held hi younger brother Munkustrap, but this time it was different. He had a bond with her the day she was born.

Dark brown eyes open, but they aren't warm and happy, they're more hard and irritated. "What're you doing?" she demands.

_Crap, what'd I do?!_ The Maine Coon thinks as he backs away. "I-I'm sorry..."

She sits up and glares at him. "Just go away!"

"O-okay!" The large tom backs away and pouts. "Is everything okay, Etcy?"

She snarls in his direction and he breathes in to calm himself from saying something else that's stupid when realization hits him a millisecond before her paw hits his head. "Don't ask me stupid questions!"

_Man, Etcy's violent on her period,_ the heartthrob thinks as he rubs the back of his head that's throbbing. "Sorry, Etcy."

"Just... go hang out with Bomba," she murmurs bitterly.

Amber eyes soften and he curls up beside his favorite adolescent. "What's the matter?" he asks gently, noting in the back of his mind that some of the queens (adolescents and not) are glaring at the brown striped young queen and wraps his fluffy tail around her protectively. When she doesn't answer he tries again, "What's the matter?"

"You don't spend any time with me anymore... I remember when we used to play games all the time, but now we don't at all," she whispers.

He gently wipes away the tear that manages to slide out and he observes it as it clings to the fur on his finger before it drops. "I'm sorry," he mutters.

"Hm?" she lifts her head and looks at him with dark brown eyes.

"I'm sorry," he repeats, much clearer. "I promise that I'll spend more time with you... I haven't been meaning to neglect you, but... things have gotten crazy."

"I'll say," she grunts in a sarcastic way, one that's actually more common than one would think.

"Please forgive me," he whispers, lowering his head so she'll look down into his pleading golden eyes.

She makes a reluctant face before smiling. "Alright!... but get off of me, I need some space."

He notes the strong smell and nods, jumping off and giving her a grin. "See ya later, Etcy!"

"M'Kay, Tugsy!" Etcetera grins.

His ears flick in irritation at the nickname, but he doesn't say anything because he knows that if he does, this queen, no matter how big of a fan she is of his, she may very well do something terrible to him and he knows full and well she's more than capable. Just a few more days.

* * *

HAT: Hope ya'll enjoyed!

Etcetera: *pouts* I'm not _that _violent when I'm on my period.

HAT: *gives her look* Really?

Etcetera: *ears flatten* Shuddup!

HAT: *smiles* Mhm... on your period aren't you?

Etcetera: Do you wanna end up in that one black hole?

HAT: Wait which-

Etcetera: The one you found looking for the party black hole with Jemima and Alonzo tried to blow up.

HAT: *pales* N-no... please say it?

Etcetera: *beams* Please review!


	10. Chapter 10

HAT: Now for the queen that everyone's been waiting for (no, seriously. If you think you're alone, look at the reviews)... VICTORIA! Let's see what I due with the graceful young queen with a pure white coat. *evil smile*

**Disclaimer: If I owned CATS these amazing stories wouldn't have been brought to you... So, I own nothing and you get this lovely story.**

* * *

Victoria:

"Something's off," Mistoffelees notes when he sees his twin sister walking towards Electra. Her thighs are pressed together when she walks and her steps are short and awkward instead of long and graceful. Her fluffy white tail flicks in irritation and her dark eyes flicker this way and that. "Wait... is she-"

"Whatcha doin' little brother?!"

The black and white tuxedo jumps and whirls around to face a golden face with his white one. "Tugger! Don't do that to me!"

The black an gold tom smirks, tail flicking in amusement behinsd him. "Whatcha doin' huh? Secretly lusting after someone you don't have the courage to ask out?"

"No," scoffs the dark eyed tom.

"Oh," Tugger mutters in disappointment with his ears lowering slightly before his golden eyes lift to their sister and looks back to his brother. "You're not into Vicky, are you?"

"Of course not! I'm just wondering what's wrong with her," he mutters, white tipped tail twitching with annoyance about his older brother. "She's moving differently."

"Whaddoyou mean?"

_"Just watch."_

After watching for a minute he sighs. "She hasn't moved."

"_Exactly!_"

The maned tom's eyes lighten and ears perk with realization. "That's peculiar... and why- ooooooh... This happens a lot with white queens."

As their sister walks stiffly out of sight Mistoffelees' curious gaze lifts to the golden face. "What do you mean?" Tugger perks when he focuses on something behind the Original Conjuring Cat and, as expected, he turns before turning back, "Wha-... _Tugger!_"

The leopard spotted tux is gone, leaving the small tom with questions. He shakes his head. If his twin has a problem she'll come tap to him. He rubs his stomach and has a sudden craving for chocolate and he sniffs for any. He continues to observe his sister from afar and his black ears flick in irritation from time to time. He doesn't understand! What's wrong with her? Why does she keep disappearing? And why can't he find any chocolate?!

_Calm down,_ two soothing voices whisper in his head in the middle of his search for chocolate.

_I just want some chocolate!_ he mentally shouts, almost depressed.

_Victoria's... mood is effecting you,_ Coricopat informs delicately.

_Whatchu talkin' 'bout Willis?_

_Since she's your littermate, your twin, you have a bond with her, especially since you'er magic... and her mood effects yours when it's very high,_ Tantomile says.

He's about to ask what that means when he rounds another pile to go to his brother's den to get chocolate when he sees his sister has blood on her thighs and she's washing herself while curing under her breath at the same time. At first he wants to run over and demand what's wrong, but he finally remembers and turns around to walk away. He decides that he doesn't want chocolate anymore and slips into Coricopat and Tantomile's den, immediately going to his knees and using his front paws to move his body down gently before he puts his head in Tantomile's lap and stares at the book in front of him without even seeing it and before he knows it fingers are being threaded through his thick black head fur while her other paw holds the book for her to hold and Coricopat runs his paw down the black side in a soothing rhythm.

"She's on her period..."

"You've been with her a long time, how could you not notice?" Coricopat asks.

"I think because last time I ended up waking up in Scotland somehow and my new name was Quaxo, I had pink and black fur and I was with a tom named Shanquaviaraya who was convinced we were in love with each other."

"Shanuaviaraya?" the Mystic Twins ask.

"Yes."

"And this was a _tom_?" Coricopat asks in disbelief, blue eyes wide. "With that name?"

"Yes!"

Tantomile's dark brown eyes flicker to the white face of Mistoffelees and her lips quirk upward. "You'd look good with pink fur."

Mistoffelees growls at her and stands up. "I'm getting chocolate!"

* * *

HAT: I decided to make it about Misto... but now you can see how evil Victoria is when she's on her period... did you pay Shan... whatever his name is to dye his fur and get with your brother?

Victoria: *grins* That's for me to know and no one to find out.

HAT: *holds up hands* Okay, okay. Keep your secret... only if you say it for me.

Victoria: If you read this story, review, because your authoress is starting to doubt the existence of everyone but the regular reviewers.

HAT: Thank you Vicky!... now let's get chocolate! *runs to get chocolate and bacon*

Victoria: WAIT! You're going into another-

HAT: *tripped into a black hole by Bustopher Jones*

Victoria: What was that for?!

Bustopher: She put me with Skimbleshanks... Revenge _is _a dish best served cold.

HAT: YOU ASS! GET ME OUTTA HERE! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Victoria: What?!

HAT: _It's Barney! He's everywhere! Get me out! Get me out! GET ME OUT!_

Victoria: *grabs toothpick, tissues, _The Notebook_, and a bazooka* I'll save you! *jumps in*

Bustopher: ... she deserves it. *walks away*


End file.
